A Shtuken Nischt in Harts
by leradny
Summary: No one lies with the sun in their eyes. JoshuaNatasha if you squint.


_Note:_ Try and pinpoint the section where I forgot I was writing Romance, then the part where I swore incoherently while trying to get out of General. Also, if the Jehannans sound weird you can blame Joss Whedon for making Firefly so addicting.

**A Shtuken Nischt in Harts**

The first sign that they are nearing Jehanna, long before any official signposts, is the gradual shift in landscape from gray and green to brown and yellow, though the sky remains the same drenched blue. Then the clouds thin out in a strained grayish haze, and the lack of white becomes a painful reminder of the water they must work to conserve.

So does the movement of Princess Eirika's troop change, from marching to walking—and from walking to trudging on scrabbly, dust-covered paths. Their thoughts are turning as well, Natasha can see, from the long goal of remedying the mess the war created to just getting through the desert alive; though the last part becomes evident when L'Arachel begins to lose her cheerful pride, speaking only when spoken to.

-  
The morning after they arrive in Jehanna, when the heat is more than a warning, the troupe's progress slows to accommodate the fact that the children, along with Lute and Neimi, are lagging. Despite their best efforts it is clear they are getting exhausted more quickly than usual. Nothing comes of this, however, until Amelia trips in soft sand. She recovers, but can only take a few unbalanced steps before burying her face in an arm and trying to hide her tears.

It wouldn't appear that Joshua would be able to hear it, since he and the other Jehannans are at the front, but when progress is halted he weaves back through the formation and is the first one to offer her water.

"Hey, now," Natasha hears. "You can't cry in a desert—you'll dry up faster."

"Thanks for scaring her to death, Josh." Tethys has followed him, probably because Ewan is there as well—except the Jehannan mage is faring about as well as his sister, so both adults focus their attention on getting Amelia walking again. In the end, Tethys remains at the back with her while Joshua returns to the front, but their charge does look better.

How strange, Natasha observes. Now that they are in Jehanna, it seems they have a whole new set of healers.

-  
Once the younger and frailer have gotten over the worst of their adjustment, Natasha expects more adults to start succumbing to the change in climate, and that they will do so quietly in order to keep their pride intact.

It figures that Saleh, who has climbed mountains since he was a lad, is the first to show signs of heat exhaustion. This time Gerik is closer than a healer, and gives him a clap on the back. "How do you like our turf, mountain-man?" He goes on without an answer, as if his friend had any breath to spare. "You think this is bad? Try going for weeks without more than a swallow."

As the deep voice segues into an anecdote, Saleh drinks and appears distracted from his lack of energy. When his flask runs empty, Gerik's is still full and the water is halved between them. "That's just for water, though. Man I knew once, he swore by wine. 'Course, he was a little bit of an idiot…"

-  
And so on. Though, when the normally-withdrawn Marisa lends Tana her flask, Innes is offended in a most strange and irrational fashion that takes the rest of Gerik's mercenaries, the three princesses, and Vanessa a long while to subdue in the most nonviolent manner they can think of. Meanwhile, Joshua disappears for half an hour.

When he comes back, the argument is still going strong. He shrugs, speaks briefly to the children, then approaches Natasha herself. She manages to catch sight of the flasks dangling from Joshua's arm before her vision wavers slightly. Distracted, she barely manages to hear his question. "Natasha—you need water, don't you?"

Being imbued with healing magic, Natasha and the other healers have held up rather better than the average soldier, but they do have limits and all of a sudden her mouth is dry. "That's very nice of you, Joshua, but you don't have to—"

"Oh, don't worry!" he assures her. "These things are going to be really awkward to carry once they're full and all, so I'm going to need you to split the load. Besides, you'll probably want to see the kids once we're done."

It makes an astonishing amount of sense. Natasha informs Saleh of their errand, and the sage nods before turning his gaze to the nigh-berserk Innes; then he looks at a sleep staff with clear intent. Joshua laughs. "Just make sure to hit him on the first try, Master. You'll only make him madder if you miss."

"Perhaps later, then." Saleh's voice was always quiet; now it is hoarse and thin as well, making the words indistinct rather than inconspicuous. He drinks what appears to be the last swallow from his flask, but does not give it to them. Perhaps he had seen they were filling the children's flasks first.

"We'll be back soon, Master Saleh," Natasha promises. But her own voice does not sound much better.

-  
Joshua is surefooted as they trek over one dune, then another. While Natasha knows they are not far from camp, she can't help feeling alarmed when she looks back to see nothing except the white dunes, rolling on as far as the eye can see. As soon as she starts to sweat, Joshua stops and allows her time to catch her breath; since he is in front of her, Natasha chalks it up to experience.

Also, he is silent. For whatever reason, Joshua is not one for taunting his opponents in battle, but after the fighting was over he would always strike up a conversation with someone. Gerik, too, is friendly, and Tethys along with her brother. Natasha watches the back of Joshua's coat wondering why he is being so taciturn all of a sudden, until he stops to check their direction and veers slightly east.

He does this with such precision that she realizes Joshua is being serious—as serious as she's ever seen anyone. But then, here in Jehanna, why wouldn't he be? Right now Natasha is not thirsty enough to feel daunted from the walk, but the children's flasks are as empty as ever. And after she takes another drink, so is hers.

"Now don't panic," Joshua says, so suddenly Natasha thinks she must have been wondering out loud. Then: "I just need to dig out my sword." Natasha looks at his belt and sure enough, his sword is not there. She hadn't really noticed, but now she is confused as to why Joshua would leave his sword and go around defenseless when there is a war going on.

He points to a short cliff, distracting her. A small glint in the shadow is Joshua's focus, and back to his usual self he quickens his pace. "It won't be long now, Natasha! You can sit in the shade, but just so you know I'm going to be pushing a lot of sand around."

She nods, weary, and settles with her back to the cliff. When Joshua pulls out his sword and lays it aside, she can see it is covered with damp sand. The myrmidon makes quick work of the dry top layer, merely moving it to the side till he hits a darker patch that clings to his hands, and grins as if he'd struck gold. After he procures a white bandanna Natasha assumes he will mop his brow with it. Instead, he lays it across the hilt of his sword and pulls out a small trowel, digging properly for a few minutes until water bubbles up.

"And thanks the Stones for _that!_" Joshua shakes dry sand off the cloth, then reaches out to her. "Here. Give me your flask."

Still befuddled by the sun, the walking, and the fact that Joshua sounds uncannily serious once more, Natasha shakes her head. "Oh—no, I really couldn't…"

"You can talk all you want about being noble," and underneath his flippant tone Natasha hears a strange weight, "But you've been walking in the sun and you need to not collapse before you get a chance to look at the kids. They can wait a few more seconds."

"Well…" Natasha nods, trying to look reluctant even as she recalls that they had only started to run out of water this afternoon. "All right."

Joshua takes her flask, covers the mouth of it with the bandanna, and filters the water in. She wonders as he gives it back whether he is going to fill his flask next. But he takes the one at his wrist next, hands it to her when it's full, and repeats until they both have six flasks on them and Natasha feels that the heat is almost bearable now.

Now, she decides, is the moment Joshua will take his own share. He scrutinizes the unchanged water level and nods. "Yeah, I think we'll have plenty of water for everyone." He fills his flask almost as an afterthought, with a quick swipe instead of the calculated movements he'd done with everyone else. "Let's get back to camp and see how things with Innes are going."

-  
The walk back feels much shorter, even with the extra flasks bouncing unevenly against Natasha's thin hips. She is almost taken aback when she sees the slice of camp past the dunes. Before she can stop herself she asks, "Joshua?" Again Joshua surprises her with his focused look, but it changes so quickly into his usual smile she feels she must have imagined it.

"What?"

"Thank you very much for the water. You… didn't have to do that for me."

"Well." He shrugs, not displeased. "You're in my country now." He hasn't said 'you're welcome' yet, so Natasha stops and waits. When Joshua looks back at her, he halts his progress as well. "You spend so much time thinking about other people," he remarks. "What if you were the only one who did, and you couldn't help them anymore? What would happen then?"

If Natasha had started walking she would have just stopped again, both at the uncomfortable truth and the fact that she is talking to Joshua. His eyes right now have a foreign glint in them—not tears but something she has seen before, from someone else. They change his smile into something heavy and faded.

"And _what-_" a certain dancer's voice demands, "Have _you_ two been up to?" Joshua hands Tethys a flask in reply. She stares at it for a moment, then instantly switches from Playful Friend to Concerned Big Sister. "Oh, thank goodness—Ewan! Come here!"

The Jehannan mage is clearly embarrassed as Tethys gives him the water and orders him to drink, insisting as always that he can take care of himself. Natasha feels almost relieved at the distraction while she makes her way to the other children sequestered in tents. Joshua is certain to be heading for the royalty clustered around Innes' unconscious body.

"I say we've been out of Jehanna too long," Gerik says around the oasis they had reached. Morale is higher and even Innes looks slightly less dour; therefore, Gerik's tone is not troubled but of good-natured irreverence. "She ain't the sort to welcome us with open arms, not even people who were born here."

"Tough love, that's Jehanna." Joshua jerks his head towards Ewan sleeping against his sister's shoulder. Everyone smiles.

"It's what we're known for, Josh. That and the other sort—Tethys' sort."

"What's the other sort?" Amelia asks. She has recovered more quickly than Ross and Franz, sounding sleepier than usual this early in the evening but otherwise back to normal.

"Well, honey, to figure one out you need the other," Tethys says. "There's sand-and-sun, what we were just talking about. It's discipline and strength—toughens you up. The other one, it means… oasis. It shelters you. Thing is, no two people ever have the same idea on how much to use. Some say you need to be like the desert, with discipline and a little bit of soft, others say it's the opposite."

"Just like in everywhere else," Gerik tells them. "But I like to think Jehannans are honest. 'No one lies with the sun in their eyes.'"

"Is that a fact?" Joshua does not look like a paragon of discipline and strength right now, with his legs stretched out towards the water and the usual slight smile on his face. The fact that he kills people as easily as he breathes is not relevant; even Amelia, who is young and understandably troubled at fighting her countrymen, has defeated her share of monsters, and Joshua was born to the life of killing for hire. But…

-  
Something rustles behind her as she stumbles through the sand to her tent. "Hey there, Sister."

Joshua's silhouette in the twilight, with sword hand in a pocket of his coat and hat tilted so he is half-blind, makes her think not of the Luck he strives for but Justice. Natasha is not sure whether this is intentional or not. She is not sure of anything about the swordfighter anymore, except that whatever reason his duplicity might serve is not to hide anything malicious. In fact, looking back upon the time they met for the first—no, the second time—Natasha decides that Joshua's ruse was (and still is) to conceal his virtues instead.

"Why hello, Joshua." She turns to face him and smiles. Any thoughts about the secret Joshua has can wait. For right now, everything is going as well as it can be while traveling in a desert with children. "You haven't called me 'Sister' in a while."


End file.
